Blessings

I paid for somebody's groceries today.  It wasn't a big haul, but it included cheese, chocolate, aspirin, and a forty.  Oh, I'm sure there are people who would have drawn the charity line somewhere before hitting the forty ounce bottle of beer, but I'm not judge-y. 

The woman was of course shocked that a total stranger was going to pay $22 for her groceries, and the cashier told her, simply, "I guess it's you're lucky day."  The woman quietly said, "It's not luck.  It's a blessing.  That's what it is.  A blessing." 

This woman, who had her son with her, made all the noises you'd expect in such a situation (oh, no, you don't want to do that....you're not serious?....I couldn't....etc.) but I held my money to the cashier** and maintained eye contact with the woman.  How else do you let somebody know you're serious?  I guess I could have smiled, but I wasn't too worried about that.  I've been told I have a friendly face. 

**  I once dated a boy in college who told me that one of the things he liked most about me was that I 'showed my money'.  I'm pretty sure he was translating from his primary language (Spanish) (and I'm pretty sure he forgot about my boobs, because hi, really, you're favorite thing about me?) but he told me a funny story that goes with it, about this woman he took out a few times, she'd always say, "Do you want me to pay for half?" but she'd clutch her purse like it was Fort Knox when she asked.  For the record, he never once took me up on my offer to pay, but he really appreciated the fact that, by 'showing my money' when I offered it, he knew I was serious about being willing to do that. 

Anyway, she left and I paid for my own items.  When I was loading my stuff into the car, she pulled up behind me and both she and her son waved wildly and grinned like crazy.  "God bless you, ma'am!  You were such a blessing to me!"  Oh, it was so sweet and cute!

Most of the people who know me know that I don't believe in God.  Well, more specifically, I don't believe in any gods.  haha!  Atheist humor is funny!  Oh, I kid.  I know it can be upsetting when somebody flat out tells you that they don't believe.  But when they came up next to me, and they were brimming with such goodwill and joy, I have to say, I was very grateful in that moment that I'm such a friendly atheist.  Because, as upsetting as my non-belief can be, your beliefs don't bother me at all.  And I was so happy for her.  And yes, I truly did feel blessed!  :)

Paper-less Towels

I was talking to my friend Kristie on the phone the other day (hi! *waves at Kristie*) and it was so wonderful.  I love friends who call, because I'm such a hermit that, even when I think about picking up the phone and calling all the time, I just can't bring myself to do it.  But then, somebody calls me, or like I randomly phoned my friend Kate the other day, and it's so much fun to chat and catch up.  And then I always think, you know, what the hell is wrong with me?  Thank you friends, who accept me for how I am, and somehow don't hold that against me.

Anyway, one of the things that came up was the idea of cutting back (or making more responsible choices, at any rate) and she was asking about saving money on paper products and I am happy to report that one area that saves money and feels good, is in saying goodbye to paper products.

I used to buy and use a dozen rolls of paper towels every month, but now we use about two rolls during the same time period.   And look, it definitely falls under the "little things add up" column of things, I won't lie to you.  It sounds so silly to say, "I used to spend $12 on paper towels, and now I only spend $2 on paper towels."  But then over a year, you've saved $120 and that buys a lot of wine.  Just saying.

I live with a cat, a puppy, two young boys, and a man-child... we need paper towels.  But instead of using them, I've taken to cutting up old t-shirts and having an ever-ready, ever-growing, stash of scrap materials has been a real lifesaver.  Here's a stack I just made for my mom, using the leftover materials from the t-shirts I used when I made the blanket for Marie. 

And here's my collection.  I keep them in this basket on the counter, so they are as convenient and easy to grab as the paper towels sitting next to them.   Still, no matter how convenient I make the cloths, Erik seems to always grab for the paper towels. I bet if I just stopped buying paper towels altogether, he'd use the cloths more often, except I'm almost certain that the whole time, he'd be thinking, "Man, I wish I had a paper towel for this."   This falls under the category of "marriage maintenance" in my house... as in, I'm not going to go pecking at his neck about something this (ultimately) trivial. I'd rather he use cloths.  He goes for the paper.  We'll live.

They're so small, I just toss them in the washer with whatever load needs to be done; they don't take up hardly any room at all.  And when they're really good and gone, they just get tossed into the composting. 
If you're not already using this system, I highly recommend it!

January ~ Pillow Project

Hola!  Did you miss me?  haha! :)  It was nice to take a break (mostly!) from computer-related stuff.   I think it was the right thing to do; finding "new normal" is tricky. 

I'm not much of a 'resolver' for the New Year.  I've never been one, but I do love to have goals...they just aren't typically tied to a holiday!  Normally, I just wait until the mood strikes (read:  I've put something off as long as I humanly can) and I'm ridiculously reflective by nature (it's exhausting, really) so the mood strikes fairly often.

This year, though, I did make an official New Year's List of Shit To Do (oh!  related:  resolution number one is to increase casual swearing).  There are lists by category, then within category by month, then within month by project.  Have I ever mentioned how much I LOVE A LIST?  Because seriously, I even got a new rainbow notepad in which to write all these lists.  Be still my heart.

Anyway, January, under the category homemaking (shut up), I have a pillow case refresh on the bill.  There are five pillows on our bed.  There are usually four people in our bed.  Three pillows are in cases, the other two were tragically naked.  Not only were they tragically naked, but they were frightening to look at.  They don't bother me in the least, because I know they're clean (they've been through the washer, with vinegar to rinse, and line dried) but they definitely do not look clean.  They've been dragged to camp-outs, if that gives you any idea of what we're dealing with here.

So, on my list for January is to get a set of pillow cases together for these extra pillows.  Our sheet sets have enough for two of the pillows; Erik has a pillow with a flannel case (decorated with fish) that he won't let me touch (because it's perfect); and that leaves us with two naked, ugly pillows. 

On Saturday morning, Tommy had his first baseball practice (OH MY GATO, seriously) and it was thankfully sunny, and not too cold for once, and I sat there for two hours and added the crocheted edging to two pillow cases from the stack Gram gave me.  So sweet!  I love it.

Oh, but then, you know, it didn't fit.  So I was going to just buy new pillows (you can get them for like five bucks each) but then, I would just have to throw these into the landfill.  Like I said, I know they're clean, but it's not like I could give them to somebody else to use.  I promise you, no matter how good they smelled, or how much you like me, you would not use these pillows. 

 So, I figured I had nothing to lose...I cut open the end of the pillow, not really sure what I would find there, but knowing that if worse came to worse, I'd end up throwing out the experiment and, net/net, I'd be no worse or better off than before.

I cut off a fourth of the length by removing batting, then trimmed the (now) excess fabric, folded under, and sewed along the edge.

And they look smashing in their new clothes!  I know I only saved ten bucks.  Well, I also saved the money of buying new cases, by dolling up the hand-me-downs from my grandma.  So let's call it $15 saved.  Probably not worth it JUST to save money.  But, it was a really satisfying and quick project,  even with the eye-rolling and mocking I had to endure from Erik.  :)

Budgets ~ a four letter word?

Well, I first wrote about budgeting back in May, so it seems apt to make an end-of-year declaration as to the success (or not!) of our budgeting attempts this year.

The good:

• We saved a lot of money this year.  We made an audacious goal back in May, and we killed it.  I feel very protective of that egg, so if you need me to float you a loan, I'll make a face.  I'll write the check, but I'll make a face.  Sorry.
• We worked hard to reduce our monthly obligations.  The first thing I attacked were random subscriptions and anything that was 8-dollaring-us-to-death.  Then we dumped comcast cable.  That's right!  Old-school antenna, Tivo (couldn't live without ya, kisses!), and the same Netflix subscription we've had for years is saving us $150 per month.  We're still paying for high speed internet, but all television/cable/land line expenses were eliminated. 
• We pay cash for everything.  Erik has been living within his (very generous!!) monthly allowance.  It took a while for him to come to grips with the idea that he might have to spend some of his monthly allowance on things he didn't actually want.  He's become a bit of a hoarder when it comes to his cash, so when he's obligated to pay $50 for a going-away dinner he didn't particularly enjoy, he couldn't quite understand why that would come out of his allowance!  haha!  He's so funny.
• We bought a cow.  Actually, we bought half a cow.  It's a grass fed, organic, grain-finished cow, to be precise.  I'd been buying grass-fed organic ground beef for around $6.00 a pound at the market.  Our chest freezer, which was empty and unplugged, is now completely filled to brimming with a cow.  It's around 260 pounds of meat!  With the butcher's fee and per-pound-cost of the cow itself, it cost us about $1100 in upfront costs. That works out to about $4 a pound.  Which is pretty decent for the (ahem) 120 pounds of ground beef, but it feels pretty spectacular for grass-fed organic porterhouse and t-bone steaks, and the dozens of roasts, etc.  I'm not even sure where I would get organic tri-tip roast, but I'm sure it would not be cheap should I come across it.  Anyway, having all that quality meat on hand (sue me, we eat meat) makes our weekly grocery bill all about the basics, and that's a huge savings every month.

The bad:

• We pay a lot for Scotty's preschool and some after school care for Tommy (uh, roughly  half-a-cow every month); Tommy doesn't go all the time, but I pay for it so it's there when I need it.   My housecleaning bill is rather ridiculous, but I'm a 'spread the wealth' kind of gal, so I don't mind paying for the weekly service (when I know I can get by on half that) just because I know it's supporting her family and she needs the work, too.   I think our cash allowances and 'funny money' are just this side of extravagant, but whatever.  I can go all month with the same 15 bucks in my wallet, but once in a while I'll spend like a drunken sailor on shore leave...it all evens out, somewhere, I'm sure.  Good for us?  That day care, housecleaning, and cash allowances are all easily reduced and/or eliminated should our income become drastically reduced.  (knock wood, that doesn't seem to be on our horizon, but who even knows these days?)
• Please do not ask me how much we are paying for two iPhones each month.  When I saw it, back in May, I literally squeaked.  Now I just look away.
• We went way over our Christmas budget this year.  We had the cash to do it, but it seems like I still can't figure out what exactly we're buying for all that money.   Ho Ho Ho?

The interesting:

• I'm really grateful that we have money.  I say this with total humility, and I'm hoping it doesn't sound otherwise.  I mean, it's exciting and fun to watch our balance grow, but if push came to shove, and we had to live on our budgeted amounts without ever dipping into extra cash that we have, this would be a very different story.  
• It's funny, when you don't just go out and buy something, when you actually plan and save up to get it, how often it happens that, by the time you have the cash and are ready to make the purchase, some other more important thing has already come up to claim whatever money you put aside.  It really makes you think about what the word "need" means.
• With a freezer full of meat, I'm really looking forward to garden harvest next year!  I'm curious about how low our food bills will go when I'm shopping for veggies and meat right here at home...

That's the 2010 status of Operation Quit Wasting Money.  Now that we know what that feels like, we'll start looking at goals for the next couple of years.   Whatever we land on, it's going to be BIG.  I've decided I like to shoot for crazy town when it comes to these kinds of goals; that way, even when we fall short, we end up in awesomeville.

First Month's Budget, in Review

I'm so bad about money.  I have never been particularly interested in money, as a concept.  I am blessed beyond measure that it's never been an issue for me.  It works two ways:  one, we've both been incredibly lucky about always having good work and lots of opportunities to actually make money.  Two, we never seem to want anything we can't afford.  Erik is more of a consumer than I am, for sure, but neither of us longs for status cars, addresses, or clothing.  It's helpful to feel this way, for certain.  Less helpful?  I toss money ~ at people and situations ~ like my drunk uncle at the racetrack.  Basically, I don't value money, so I don't take care  of money.  Easy come, easy go.  That's been my philosophy my whole life.

This month, I took over the accounts.  Erik was beyond thrilled; he's wanted me to take over the finances for years.  Nothin' doin', chump.  But.  I can't say for sure what changed.  A run of bad luck with car and motorcycle repairs?  A string of electronics purchases?  Dropping a chunk of change on a new bathroom?  All of these things, combined, within a short 6 weeks?  I mean, it don't take a weatherman to know which way the wind blows.  (hat tip:  bob)

There's probably a lot that can be said here about how nutty I've gotten about money, but I'll refrain.  I just started seeing it differently...I sort of get the excitement of an account that is balancing to the penny, for example.  And, as Erik said early this month, "Congratulations, honey, you managed to do something that's never happened in almost twenty years...we are officially having a fight about money."  Oops!  I'm sure I'll relax, as I get used to this new role!  Hang in there, sweet pea.

So, without getting too technical, I had three major accomplishments this month.  First?  When I printed out our account transactions summary for April, so I could get a handle on what we spend, when, on what, and especially what's "fixed" and what's "extra" (and if you're thinking anything like:  dude, in 18 years you've never had the occasion to do this?  Well, if you're thinking that, than you are starting to get the picture) and it was fourteen pages long.  For May?  One and a half pages.  That represents some serious control we've taken back, and although I'm sure it will vary month-to-month, I'm pretty pleased!

Second?  I made a ridiculously ambitious savings goal.  I thought within a few months, we could probably hit that target each month.  I was able to hit that savings goal during our first month of budgeting.  What what!

The last thing?  I've always considered myself lucky and grateful.  Both things, equally.  But, budgeting put a whole new perspective on both things!   Early this month, I got a $7 cash back coupon on my next purchase at the grocery store, plus a $2 cash back on my neck purchase from a manufacturer.  I can't tell you how many of these things I've just forgotten about or lost.  But, because I had set a flat cash amount for groceries for the whole month, I saw it differently!  I was so happy to use that $9 on a produce run.  A colleague asked me to visit his college course one evening, and do a presentation to his students (on math) and I agreed (because I adore him) and he (quite unnecessarily) kicked me a generous gift card to Trader Joe's.  It made my month!  I have held onto gift cards for, like, years!  But I was so lucky to have this one right when I needed it.  And then, there was the gift from my mom.  My parents have some friends who live out in the valley, and they own and work the almond and walnut orchards.  She couldn't eat all the nuts that were gifted to her (and residing in her freezer) so she kicked me two huge bags.  Easily saving me $30 to $50.  We eat tons of almonds and walnuts, plus I use a lot of walnuts in my baking.  All those walnuts you see are actually almost gone after just a few weeks...but we'll be rolling on those almonds for a few months.  And, as much as I've always felt thankful, knowing that this was money I could spend on something else for my family meals, it just amplified my gratitude in the happiest of ways.

Lookit.  I'm way too old (and remember all too well actually having no money) to think there's anything cute about being poor.  It's not charming nor romantic, in my mind, to have to stress and worry about where it's coming from and where it has to go.  Having said that, that's just not the situation (knock wood) in which we find ourselves.  This budget is more about being conscientious consumers, not being wasteful out of sheer negligence and/or laziness, and, yes, amplifying our gratitude.  So far?  So good!