I feel like I have nothing nice to say these days, and I was raised to say nothing at all in such cases as this. I feel like I've been surrounded by death and chaos and mayhem, and I'm sort of worn out from the whole affair.
It's funny. I'm not unhappy. I'm never unhappy (it really is obnoxious) but I'm feeling fragmented. Through a really difficult start to the new school year (hi, class of 39 third and fourth graders that turned into a class of 32 second and third graders after one month of school and a scant 12 hours of notice) and the death of Marie and a seemingly unending number of WHOA and HEY THERE and OH CRAP moments queued up around me, I'm just needing....
You know, I almost wrote "I'm just needing to step back", but really, you know what I really want? I want to sink in. I want to hole up and hunker down and sink in to my home and my family, because it really is the only place I feel completely safe.
I have a whole laundry list of things I want to make, and fix, and do, and cook, and write, and photograph, and....I guess that's what I'm going to do. Because in the doing, comes the sinking, and I think that's exactly what I'm looking for right now.
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It's better made at home
4 days ago
So you do what you need to do....I fee the same way this time of year and I think it's because winter is just around the corner. Be well my friend.
ReplyDeleteMia, As I've been reading your recent posts (and catching up on your previous ones), I've been thinking about you a lot. I hope doing the things you love makes you feel whole again. Take care.
ReplyDeleteI can relate to those feelings. Not the same situation as yours - but I often take on too much and then start to feel overwhelmed (and resentful..even though it is my own fault!). In those moments I just want to shut-in, lock the doors, turn off the phones, and hole up with Trav, the kids, and Larry the dog...for days at a time.
ReplyDeleteI have a package I have been meaning to send you since I got back from Hi. I think I will do it tomorrow :) I knew there was a reason I waited. lol!
I think that is just what fall feels like sometimes, taking stock, making lists. re focusing life on for inside house time...
ReplyDeleteI think a shift of focus back to what really matters to you can really help heal the hurts and ohcrapwhoaheythere moments. Good thinking, friend. :)
ReplyDeleteHang in there Mia. The stars will eventually realign. :o)
ReplyDeleteHave a great day! La
I know that feeling of wanting to 'sink in', close the gate and shut the world out. It helps heal the body and soul.
ReplyDeleteSending (((((hugs))))))).
Pippa
xoxoxox
ReplyDeletesometimes it feels good to do that, so do it!
xoxoxox
thinking of you, so just popping in to say hi...
ReplyDelete